100 Creative Real Estate Jokes to Make You Laugh Hard

In this article, I will share the best real estate jokes you can use to cheer up your clients and make them feel like you are a friend.

As you know to make a sale, first, you have to win their hearts, and then one by one, you will convince them to buy the property of their needs. 

Trust is the most important thing as those people are investing their life savings with you. They will not compromise it with any regular guy.

These funny real estate jokes will help you win their friendship and a possible sale if you know how to use them at the right time.

Why Use Real Estate Jokes?

In short, to relieve them from their Stress and Fear. Stress relief from laughter is no joke, as many researchers have proved.

They have found that a full stomach of laughter relieves stress, increases oxygen intake, and increases endorphin activity. Which ultimately increases the chance of psychological acceptance in a person.

That’s all you need while dealing with a new client, an open mind with an opportunity for acceptance. Here the real estate jokes I will share will hit home. 

Take the property joke you need and know when to use it.

Best Real Estate Agent Jokes

  • What happens when you marry the best agent? Simple, he sells you the engagement ring.
  • What does a realtor say when he needs to reduce the work in half? I will take two of those.
  • What is the only similarity between an affordable real estate agent and a UFO? You can hear about both but can never ever see one.
  • Why did the house he was selling come in a beautiful dress? Because it was the address.
  • What is the lightest house a property seller sells? A lighthouse, obviously!
  • Why did the agent keep Ten-Ants in his house? Because they were the tenant.
  • Why was the agent upset with his truck driver client? The client wanted a house with a long way.
  • Why did the agent take the house to the doctor? The window had a big pane.
  • Which rooms do ghost agents hate selling the most? The living room.
  • Why did the estate company hire the coffee maker? Because he grinds well.

The French Castle Landlord

A castle tour guide was leading a tourist group through a beautiful sight in France. One of the stops was an ancient castle in the countryside.

  • This castle was built about 900 years ago, the guide said. All the features are original, not one wall, and not a single stone has been changed in all those years. No upgrade, superficial or functional, has been made to it.

When the tour guide said this, a man in the group whispered to his wife, Gosh Honey, they must have the same landlords as we.

Funny Realtor Jokes

Here are some more real estate agent jokes you can also use in your conversation.

  • What did the husband’s realtor say to his wife? You have a lien on my heart, dear.
  • What did the agent say to his wife? Speaking with you felt like buying a house for the first time. It’s thrilling and nervous.
  • What did the agent say to his daughter topped the class? Just like an agreement bond, your mark sheet is flawless.
  • How did the agent compliment his wife? Values of properties will go up and down, but you will remain beautiful forever.
  • How many agents are needed to change a bulb? Just five. One to change the bulb and others to say they would have done it for a much lower price.
  • Why did the agent decide not to go to Egypt to sell ancient monuments? Because it might be a big pyramid scheme.
  • What is the best catchy line an agent uses to convince his clients? I am picturing you in this house.
  • Why was the agent surprised to see his house being broken into? Because he was the Sher-locks Holmes.
  • Why do agents not recommend buying houses near stables? Because they will be worried about their next-door Neigh-Bors.
  • Why did the person decide to hide his license? Because he wanted to be a secret agent, Bond 007.

Best Hilarious Realtor Jokes

A real estate agent asked his clients how many agents it takes to change a lightbulb. A total of five. It takes just one to change the bulb and others to say they would have done it for a much lower price.

You got my point.

Let’s try another, what did the senior agent who grew up in the Bay Area advise his junior agents? 10 percent of the money is made by your schemes, but 90 percent is made by catching giant waves. 

Both real estate jokes create a seed in your client’s mind about what can happen if you buy a cheap product. You may fall for the eye-catching giant wave and the schemes or the five agents to change a light bulb.

Let’s see the short funny jokes you can use instantly and make them laugh.

  • What compliment did the broker give his wife? He said she deserves all the props in her life.
  • What does a realtor say to impress a client who wants to sell his house? There is no other place like your home.
  • Why did the happy agent say when his rivals got fired? He said all his competitors are now roofless.
  • Why are agents excellent at planning vacations? Because they know the importance of location, location, location.
  • Why did the sellers decide to sell their house? The agent did an amazing job describing it.
  • What does a house wear? The Address, isn’t it?
  • What is the best way to make a million in real estate? Simple, start with two million.
  • How many insects do you need to make money from a rental property? Not many but a few Ten-Ants.
  • How do professional agents greet each other? Hey, house it going, my friend?
  • What is the best way to know where your property line is? Simple, watch the neighbors mow their lawns.

One Short Funny Real Estate Jokes

The junior agent said to his manager, I need a raise in my commission. There are four companies after me.

Oh really? What companies are after you? The electric, the gas, and the telephone company.

  • I was offered to buy some properties in the Valley of Egypt, but it turned out to be a pyramid selling scheme.
  • A total of 90 percent of people hate carpeting. The other 10 percent hate your carpeting.
  • If you owe the bank $100, that’s your problem. If you owe the bank 300 dollars, that’s the bank’s problem.
  • What caused the owner to celebrate in his house? The Appreciation.
  • Why did the agent put a bee in the client’s hand? Because the real beauty is in the eye of the bee holder.
  • What is the base study of real estate? The Home-ology.
  • What kind of monster eats homes? The God-Zillow.
  • Which agent is also the God of Thunder? The Real-Thor.
  • What does an agent on a first date have in common with a first-time home buyer? They are super nervous but thrilled.
  • What does a broker’s wife say if she can’t sleep? Tell me about your day.

Last Words

So after knowing and reading all these funny real estate jokes, you know which one to use and when in your conversation to make it more appealing.

But be careful. If you use the wrong joke at the wrong time, you may lose the deal. Use them with a plan or don’t. I hope you under the task. Good luck. See you soon.

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